Man, where would NEWS of the WEIRD columns be without talking birds? There's always some story of a guy getting caught in a lie or a suspect getting nailed because the bird repeated some incriminating words. Seriously, don't people who own these birds ever learn to take their incriminating conversations to another room? It's like having a living tape recorder running 24 hours a day. These people have basically bugged their own homes.
That brings us to this unnamed Chinese woman from Chongqing. After returning home from a month-long trip to her parents, she became suspicious over the new vocabulary the family mynah bird has picked up; such as "divorce" and "be patient" and presumably: "You have great tits, I want to shove my face in and motorboat them while my wife is away, and I don't mind shouting that fact because there is no one here to hear me other than my stupid parrot who repeats everything I say."
The wife has filed for divorce but, for some bizarre reason, evidence from a bird is apparently not admissible in Chinese courts. We don't see why though, seeing as the exact same case has appeared numerous times in courts around the world. In 2006, Rosella DeGambos, an Argetinian woman, actually won a case thanks to her bird's testimony.
“He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't have nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!”
Monty Python Quote
