Dogs have more sense than humans

Dog saves toddler from red-belly black snake in Luddenham

19 Nov 09 @ 04:00pm by Caryn Metcalfe

A TODDLER and his dog have formed a lifelong bond after the dog saved the boy from a red-belly black snake.

Ziggy North, 2 1/2, and Mojo, a four-year-old foxy, were playing in their backyard at Luddenham, watched by grandmother Lesley Gibson from the back veranda.

“I came out to bring the washing in and could see Ziggy, then I heard a whip-cracking sound,” she said.

“I went around and could see the snake in the dog’s mouth.

“The dog was shaking the snake and it snapped in half, with the head ending up near Ziggy and it was still moving, before the dog went and grabbed it again.”

Mrs Gibson said while the whole thing happened in only a few seconds, it felt like it was in slow motion.

Ziggy’s mother Koran said the most amazing thing about Mojo protecting Ziggy from the 1.5m snake was that the dog had been moping for the past month after his companion Noodles, a five-year-old mini-foxy, ran away during a storm.

“We were away up the coast and had a babysitter for the dogs, who rang us one night and said there was a massive storm and Noodles ran away,” Mrs North said.

“The neighbours said Mojo just howled and cried. He was just devastated. He’s never been without her.

“For the past three weeks, even when all the kids have been over playing, he’s not the life of it all.”

But since protecting Ziggy, Mojo has perked up again, and loves playing with the toddler.

Mrs North said since he became a hero, she wouldn’t consider replacing Noodles, because of Ziggy and Mojo’s new close bond.

Unlike modern man, dogs know who is a friend and who is an enemy!!

How times have changed

$50,000 Mercedes Benz pulled apart in carpark to rescue snake 26 Nov 09 @ 08:46am by Alison Buckland

A SNAKE with a taste for expensive cars caused a bit of havoc at Tuggerah last Saturday.

After slithering its way through the Westfield Shopping Centre carpark it took refuge under a $50,000 Mercedes Benz and then wriggled its way into the body shell of the car.

A shopper who saw it called out the Central Coast Volunteer Rescue Association to help.

They had to start pulling apart the luxury car in order to snare the snake.

“We had to jack it up and remove the wheels and guard liners and then the rear bumper,” Volunteer Andrew Bradley said.

When the snake was finally caught, it was discovered to be an American corn snake, which are illegal to have as a pet in Australia.

Licences can be obtained to own one, but are usually restricted to zoos.

Corn snakes are not venemous and kill their prey, usually small mammals and birds, by constriction.

The snakes are popular pets in the US due to their small size and variety of colours.

After bagging the corn snake, the rescue team then had to reassemble the car for the owner.

Hot weather has prompted a spate of snake sightings in recent weeks.

The rescue team has been kept busy in the past two weeks, rescuing more than 20 snakes around the coast. Genesis 3:14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: 3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

Dumb and Dumber

Robbers caught using 'the worst disguise ever'

October 30, 2009 - 10:35AM

It's been labelled the worst disguise ever - two men arrested over a burglary attempt in the US were found with fake beards and masks scrawled on their faces with a permanent marker.

Police stopped the car of Matthew McNelly, 23, and Joey Miller, 20 after it matched the description of a vehicle used by two men who allegedly tried to break into an Iowa apartment last Friday night.

When officers looked inside the 1994 Buick Roadmaster, they were surprised to find the men with masks, beards and moustaches painted on their face in some sort of rudimentary disguise.

"It's a little weird," police chief Jeff Cayler told Radio Iowa.

"I've been here long enough that I've seen a lot of things, but this one's a little different compared to most ... I mean, just the face thing is what sets it apart."

Mugshots of the pair show the black ink scribbles on their faces.

A number of US blogs, including the popular Huffington Post, described it as "the worst disguise ever".

The men may have been under the influence of alcohol when they devised the idea for their disguises.

"For what it's worth, it appeared they had both been drinking quite a bit and maybe weren't thinking quite rationally," Mr Cayler said.

One of the men also believed the owner of the apartment they were trying to rob was dating his girlfriend, he said.

McNelly and Miller were each charged with attempted second-degree burglary and released on bail.

Mr Cayler said numerous media outlets had contacted him about the case, while pictures of the two men have raced around the internet and blogosphere.

These guys are not just weird they are also clever despite what people may say. How do I come to that conclusion? Well they did use a permanent marker didn't they? They must have thought that after the robbery they would keep their new faces for a few months so that people wouldn't suspect them! Right?

Triple-0 call to fix DVD player

A LALOR Park woman was arrested twice within 24 hours for pestering the triple-0 service about DVD repairs.

The 47-year-old woman first dialled the emergency service line about 9pm on Friday seeking police assistance to fix her DVD player.

Although it was explained to her on several occasions that it was an offence to seek assistance from emergency services when the case was not an emergency she made several more phone calls.

The woman was consequently arrested and charged with making false calls to emergency services.

She was bailed to appear at Blacktown Local Court on August 20.

The following night she was arrested for the same offence. The woman was right! If you cannot watch a video at night, life becomes boring and one can become suicidal! Isn't that an emergency?

Unhappy Vegemite attacks Krafty changes

Tanya Lau writes from the trenches of life as a suburban mum. DEAR Mr Kraft: I'm writing in response to your quest to name your new Vegemite blend. I respectfully suggest you call it YankeeMite. As in, if you attempt to make it more palatable, a YankeeMite eat it.

You blokes have never understood Vegemite, even if you have owned it since 1935. I suspect you've been scratching your heads in confusion for decades, trying to figure out how you made millions by buying up the recipe for a thick black, salty paste.

Now here you are, over 1 billion jars later, trying to broaden Vegemite's appeal.

Apparently you polled thousands of Australians and decided we needed this new namby-pamby Vegemite.

I say anyone who needs their Vegemite creamier and more ``spreadable'' should harden up, or swap to peanut butter.

This isn't the first time you've tried to mess with our national spread. Did you learn nothing from the Vegemite singles fiasco back in the early 1990s?

We could have told you no one wanted to eat cheese the colour of baby poo.

Apparently you thought anyone crazy enough to buy jars of brewers' yeast by-product would buy it pre-mixed with cheese. Not so.

We didn't fall for vegemite added to cheese 15 years ago and we won't fall for cheese added to Vegemite now.

We might choose to eat Vegemite with cheese, or poached eggs, or tomato, but any way we eat it, it's on our own terms.

Here's the thing about some of our cultural icons. Our koalas bite, our kangaroos dive in front of fast moving vehicles, and our Vegemite is considered inedible by anyone not raised on the stuff.

You must realise we like it this way.

The very fact that no one else likes it is what makes it uniquely Australian.

Ah, Vegemite. It looks like tar, but it tastes like home.

Hear, hear you Yanks! Leave Aussie products alone or we will bite you!

Airlines reduce size of spoons to save fuel during recession, says IATA

By David Millward, Transport Editor in Kuala Lumpur Published: 11:38AM BST 09 Jun 2009 Airlines are reducing the size of spoons and dropping in-flight magazines to make planes lighter and save fuel during the recession, according to the International Air Transport Association. In the United States, Northwest Airlines has excluded spoons from its cutlery pack if the in-flight meal does not require one.

It is not alone, according to Paul Steele, director of the environment at IATA.

Another carrier, JAL of Japan, took everything it loaded from a 747 and put it on the floor of a school gym to see what it really needed.

As a result it shaved a fraction of a centimetre off all its cutlery to cut weight.

"When you are talking about a jumbo jet with 400 people on board, being served two to three meals, this can save a few kilos," he said.

"You work out how much fuel that consumes over a year, and you can be talking about a considerable amount of money".

Other carriers have come up with all sorts of ingenious initiatives to shift the flab off their aircraft.

In-flight magazines are going and carriers are even putting their duty-free catalogues onto the seat-back televisions.

"Airlines are going through what they put on a plane. They are now saying that if we are only carrying 100 passengers, then only load what they need," said Mr Steele.

Catering trolleys are becoming lighter and less water - both bottled and in the tank - is being loaded.

The next generation of aircraft seats are likely to be up to 30 per cent lighter than the current generation, with composite replacing aluminium.

Reinforced carbon fibre is used for the shields for the in-flight televisions, cutting the weight by as much as half.

Many of the initiatives were triggered by the soaring cost of aviation fuel. But are now becoming important for airlines who are coming under pressure to cut their carbon emissions.

In Kuala Lumpur 226 leading airlines pledged that they would achieve "carbon-neutral growth" by 2020, meaning that their emissions would be capped - even if the number of planes in the sky increased.

At the same time the industry is looking to step up the use of alternative carbon-free bio-fuels, which should account for up to six per cent of the industry total by 2020.

A number of carriers, including Virgin Atlantic, Continental and Air New Zealand, have carried out trials of alternative sources of energy such as algae.

It is anticipated that such fuels, which have appear to have performed as well -if not better - than conventional kerosene, will get safety approval as early as next year.

But, given the high initial cost, they are unlikely to be in widespread commercial use before the middle of the next decade.

However, if we do away with the kitchen galleys and the catering trolleys altogether we can increase the savings in weight by a considerable amount of kilograms.

If we then replace the passenger seats with bean-bags there is some added savings in overall weight.

Now lets look at the combined weight of the pilot, copilot, navigator and cabin crew and see how much weight we can save there!!

Japanese company does thriving trade in 'fake friends'

By Danielle Demetriou in Tokyo - Published: 4:52PM BST 09 Jun 2009 Along with choosing a dress and booking a honeymoon, there is one other item to add to the wedding checklist in Japan: hiring fake friends.

Office Agents, a Tokyo-based company, rents out friends, work colleagues and even relatives to pad out the guest list.

For £127, one of the company's agents will attend the wedding as a guest, while a heart-tugging speech will cost an extra £64 and a song or dance will set clients back a mere £32.

Brides or grooms who want to impress their prospective partners with their sheer volume of friends are among those secretly padding the guest list with fakes.

The recession has also boosted the popularity of the service. With unemployment rising and a growing number of Japanese in part time jobs, people rent fake bosses or colleagues.

Others turning to the company for fake work-related guests are those who have recently lost their jobs but want to maintain an air of respectability, according to Hiroshi Mizutani, who heads Office Agents.

"We'll attend the wedding as your friend instead of your friend," said Mr Mizutani.

"Suddenly, a guest might not be able to make it. Or maybe you are concerned about the gap in the number of guests you have compared to your partner. Or, there are many temp workers these days and they may be uncomfortable inviting the boss."

At one recent wedding, the groom secretly arranged for all 30 guests to be hired as friends and family members as it was his second marriage and he did not want the same guests present as the first time round.

The company also provides the hiring of fake companions at events ranging from corporate functions and funerals to private events.

Stand-in lovers, pretend secretaries and distant relatives are among a colourful cast of popular roles played by the company's army of fakers.

Describing the necessary credentials for his "fakers", Mr Mizutani said: "They are cheery and clean and look like they have regular jobs."

It is a sad sad situation when in a country whose population is estimated at 127.77 million and which ranks tenth in the world making up 1.9 percent of the world's total population, someone has to hire fake friends and relatives in order to "save face".

This only goes to prove how much people have lost the art of communication with the advent of computers and the internet. What next? Fake parents and children?

High school student who wouldn't stop using cell phone Tasered

Thursday, June 04, 2009

By Eleanor Chute, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

A Penn Hills police officer used a stun gun on a high school student who refused to stop talking on a cell phone and pushed the officer.

At Penn Hills High School this morning, Chief Burton said, a student was walking up and down a hallway, using a cell phone. School policy permits students to have cell phones but not to use them during school except in emergencies, Chief Burton said.

A Penn Hills police officer told him to put the phone away and go to class.

"The kid refused to listen," Chief Burton said. "The officer took him by the arm and said, 'You have to go to the office.' The student resisted, pushed the officer. The officer, defending himself, took out his stun gun and did a drive stun."

Chief Burton said a drive stun involves pushing the Taser against a portion of the body and squeezing the trigger, thus immobilizing a portion of the body, such as the leg. He said this affects about a 2- or 3-inch area.

While on the floor, the student was still resisting and was placed in handcuffs, Chief Burton said. The student complained of a headache and dizziness and was taken to Forbes Regional Hospital.

I suppose that this is one way of getting school kids to attend their class - Taser them into submission. Why didn't anybody think of this before? Parents would have been soooo grateful!!!

Food feud: woman stabs sister

Posted Fri Jun 5, 2009 4:10pm AEST

A 51-year-old Northern Territory woman has pleaded guilty to stabbing her sister during an argument over a stew.

The Alice Springs Supreme Court heard Kaye Johnson had been drinking with her sister at a house in a Tennant Creek town camp in December 2007 when they started arguing over food.

Johnson admitted to pulling a knife from her handbag and stabbing her sister in the forearm after her sister pushed her.

The prosecutor told the court the stab wound was 10 centimetres long and up to four centimetres deep and was likely to have caused permanent damage if not for medical treatment.

Johnson's lawyer said his client conceded an argument over a stew was a ridiculous reason for the outcome and she accepted responsibility.

Justice Stephen Southwood has remanded her in custody for sentencing next Wednesday.

In the words of The Bard of Avon: Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and caldron bubble.

Wedgies and petty theft tie up consular staff

Tim Elliot May 23, 2009

TOUCHING up a Singapore Airlines flight attendant, giving drinkers "wedgies" at Oktoberfest and pilfering bar mats from Phuket bars. Australians love to travel and are, it seems, finding ever more unorthodox ways of extending time overseas - even if it means bunking down in the lock-up.

"Australians go everywhere, and everywhere they go they get into trouble," a senior official from the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade says. "It makes you proud."

The department's consular division in Canberra has 55 staff, and half of them work full-time on the 1500 cases of Australians in strife overseas. Some involve death, missing persons and medical evacuations, but many are of the Annice Smoel "bar mat bandit" variety, trivial incidents that account for a large slab of consular resources.

"Touching up cabin crew is quite common," the official says. "On Singapore Airlines, for instance, even grabbing a stewardess by the wrist can get you an 'outrage of modesty' charge, which we see a bit. And Australians, usually women, can't seem to keep their fingers off stuff when they are transiting through airports, either. We had a woman caught stealing toiletries in Bangkok Airport last year."

Men, on the other hand, are better at "offensive behaviour like pissing in pot plants and crashing jet-skis".

Midair meltdowns are also common. Terrance George, 57, of Melbourne, hit the headlines last week for lashing out at flight attendants who tried to move him from his seat on a Qantas flight to London. The navy officer had reportedly been making unwanted advances to a fellow passenger.

"Often alcohol is the catalyst," the source says. "Two years ago we had three young Australian men who went round at Oktoberfest giving people 'huggy wedgies', where you walk up, hug a person and yank up their underwear. They thought it was hilarious but they were arrested and we had to help them get legal advice."

A Sydney barrister, Ben Clark, says offences that are regarded as innocuous by most Australians can be serious overseas. In February he represented two Sydney men who were jailed for two days in Phuket and ordered to pay $1000 compensation for stealing a 50-cent picture from a street vendor.

In Thailand, says Mr Clark, "penalties for crimes committed at night are far more severe than if the same crime were committed during the day".

And the Land of Smiles is a clear favourite with Australian travellers. "Our embassy in Bangkok gets by far the largest volume of Australians behaving badly of anywhere in world," the official says.

The 1958 novel The Ugly American by Eugene Burdick and William Lederer, describes how the United States is loosing the struggle in Southeast Asia because of arrogance and failure to understand the local culture.

In the novel a Burmese journalist says "For some reason, the people I meet in my country are not the same as the ones I knew in the United States. A mysterious change seems to come over Americans when they go to a foreign land. They isolate themselves socially. They live pretentiously. They're loud and ostentatious." The phrase "ugly Americans" came to be applied to Americans behaving in this manner.

In our times the term "ugly Australians" can be equally applied to Australians overseas who behave in a similar manner and for the same reasons.

People, who would otherwise be model citizens in their own country, seem to loose all restraints once they leave their own shores. Very much like children who are allowed to stay away from home for a day. What a pity that we have to show our worst selves to our hosts overseas!

NZ couple laughing all the way from the bank

May 22, 2009 - 10:01AM

A New Zealand couple who fled the country after receiving millions of dollars in a banking error may have had a 16-day head start on police.

It also emerged the couple may now be in China, and that other family members were also missing.

The unnamed couple, believed to be Asian man "Leo" Gao, perhaps in his 30s, and his Kiwi girlfriend Kara (or Cara) Young, have not been seen since $NZ10 million was mistakenly deposited into their account after they applied for a $NZ10,000 business overdraft.

The $NZ10 million was first deposited in the account on or about May 5, but police only announced it was investigating the matter yesterday - 16 days later - the New Zealand Herald reported.

Police would not say when Westpac first reported the missing money.

Mr Gao and his girlfriend reportedly left the country after abandoning his service station on Old Taupo Road in Rotorua, NZPA said.

The service station closed so suddenly that motorists were still driving in to fill up thinking it was open, it said.

Other members of Mr Gao's family were also missing, NZPA said.

While police could not say where the couple may have gone, local media said a police officer involved working on the case had been sent to China, it said.

Mr Gao lived in a house close to the service station with other family members. The unoccupied, furnished house has been for sale for $NZ220,000 since October.

Neighbouring business owner Helaine Aim said she was friends with the couple, who she referred to as "Leo" and "Kara" and saw them daily.

Mrs Aim, who owns St Andrews Bakery, said she last saw them two weeks ago. "I would go and have coffee with them at their house. They told me they were planning a holiday."

This is one case of an "all expenses" paid holiday subsidised by their bank. Unfortunately for the rest of us, banks don't often subsidise such holidays.

Bizarre holiday complaints

NEWS.com.au April 14, 2009 10:32am BRITISH tourists are upset because beaches have too much sand and mosquitoes bite. The strangest holiday complaints ever made by British tourists have been revealed, with hilarious results. Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents compiled a list of the bizarre complaints, including one where a holidaymaker said he felt inadequate after seeing an aroused elephant, which in turn ruined his honeymoon. It seems many British travellers aren't used to beaches, with a tourist complaining that "the beach was too sandy" and another upset when they discovered fish swimming in the sea. "No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled," the tourist said. It seems some travellers also have a lot to learn about nature. "I was bitten by a mosquito – no one said they could bite," a holidaymaker complained. In another complaint a British guest at a Novotel hotel in Australia said his soup was too thick and strong, not realising he had been sipping from the gravy boat. In an even stranger twist, one traveller blamed a hotel for her pregnancy. "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant," the guest said. "This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked." Other complaints included "there are too many Spanish people in Spain" and "too much curry served in restaurants in India". Well, now you know why Aussies call them whinging poms! They expect the Spaniards to vacate Spain so that they can spend their holidays there and they expect the fish to vacate the sea so that they can have a swim! As for the elephant, enough said!

Bakery's unique theft deterrent

Daily Telegraph May 07, 2009 02:02pm A POSH bakery in Split, Croatia, has been broken into almost every week. But not since it brought in "protection". The shop owners posted a life-sized photo of the toughest man in Hollywood, Chuck Norris, in the window. The sign says: "This shop is under the protection of Chuck Norris." Now the bakery hasn't had a single burglary for more than a month. Sales assistant Mirna Kovac said: "To be honest we just started it as a joke but it really has worked. Thieves haven't been anywhere near us for ages. People seem to respect him." "Everyone around here has seen his films and he's quite a popular character, perhaps even among criminals, so they've decided to leave us alone." She added that the bakery has had a few customers come in and ask us whether they can get Norris's autograph. "They really believe he is sitting in our storeroom out the back ready to pounce on any burglars," she said. Chuck Norris Facts : Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it. I always believed that sooner or latter someone would find a use for Chucky!

"Polly Wanna Swear to Tell the Whole Truth?"

Man, where would NEWS of the WEIRD columns be without talking birds? There's always some story of a guy getting caught in a lie or a suspect getting nailed because the bird repeated some incriminating words. Seriously, don't people who own these birds ever learn to take their incriminating conversations to another room? It's like having a living tape recorder running 24 hours a day. These people have basically bugged their own homes. That brings us to this unnamed Chinese woman from Chongqing. After returning home from a month-long trip to her parents, she became suspicious over the new vocabulary the family mynah bird has picked up; such as "divorce" and "be patient" and presumably: "You have great tits, I want to shove my face in and motorboat them while my wife is away, and I don't mind shouting that fact because there is no one here to hear me other than my stupid parrot who repeats everything I say." The wife has filed for divorce but, for some bizarre reason, evidence from a bird is apparently not admissible in Chinese courts. We don't see why though, seeing as the exact same case has appeared numerous times in courts around the world. In 2006, Rosella DeGambos, an Argetinian woman, actually won a case thanks to her bird's testimony.

“He's not pining, he's passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a stiff, bereft of life, he rests in peace. If you hadn't have nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies. He's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!”

Monty Python Quote

Amish face crisis of faith

Job losses force Hoosiers to choose money or tradition By Tom Coyne • Associated Press • May 17, 2009 TOPEKA, Ind. -- A part-time construction job strengthened Orva Fry's financial foundation after he was laid off from a recreational vehicle factory. It also kept the 41-year-old Amish father of two on steady spiritual ground. Another way to make ends meet that Fry briefly considered -- unemployment checks -- went against his faith, which shuns all forms of government assistance. That Fry even pondered signing up for jobless benefits illustrates a marked shift in this Northern Indiana Amish settlement, the nation's third-largest. Suffering steep unemployment following a decades-long shift from farming to factory work, a growing number of the area's 23,000 Amish are breaking with centuries of tradition and taking government help to stay afloat, church and economic leaders say. Bishops who once might have censured those who sought public assistance are reluctantly looking the other way. "We prefer to supply ourselves, but I told people that if they have no other option and no other way to make ends meet then they can take it," said Paul Hochstetler, bishop of an Amish district east of Goshen. Of more than two dozen Amish approached recently in Topeka, a town of 1,100 about 40 miles southeast of South Bend, only six would talk of the unemployment situation, and all were reluctant to be identified. The unemployment rate in the Elkhart-Goshen metropolitan area approached 19 percent in March -- the most recent month for which data are available -- in large part due to the misfortune of RV factories that have laid off thousands of workers. It is the nation's fourth-highest unemployment rate and is up 13 points from March 2008, the country's largest increase.

The Amish's refusal to take assistance such as unemployment and welfare is shared by like-minded Anabaptist traditions that grew out of 16th-century German sects that sought to separate themselves from the world, said John Farina, an associate professor of religious studies at George Mason University in Fairfax, Va. That would include Hutterians, the Church of the Brethren and the Church of the United Brethren. At least, the Amish do not have the added financial burden of telephones, television and motor vehicles (and, therefore, do not have to budget for petrol). As for their refusal to take assistance such as unemployment, it is an indication that they do not consider themselves as part of everyday society.

Eight months for Kenya aristocrat

Serah Njoya has been left with four children, no job, and no husband

A white Kenyan aristocrat convicted of the manslaughter of a black poacher on his estate in 2006 has been sentenced to eight months in prison.

The judge told a packed High Court in Nairobi he had decided to give Thomas Cholmondeley a light sentence.

The Eton-educated 40-year-old has spent the last three years in jail.

Last week, the judge cut Cholmondeley's murder charge to manslaughter as he did not show "malice aforethought" in the shooting of Robert Njoya, 37.

The killing was the second time in just over a year that Cholmondeley had fatally shot a black man.

The case, involving the great-grandson of the third Baron Delamere, one of Kenya's first major white settlers more than a century ago, has attracted huge media attention.

The tall, besuited farmer showed no emotion as the sentence was read to a courtroom packed with foreign journalists, and relatives of both his and his victim's family.

Justice Muga Apondi told the court he had not taken into account the accused's offer to pay compensation to the dead man's family.

"There should not be one law for the rich and another for the poor," the judge said.

But he noted the accused had used his own car to take the man to hospital, after shooting him.

Protests in court

Mr Njoya had been hunting on Cholmondeley's 55,000-acre Soysambu ranch near Lake Naivasha in Kenya's Great Rift Valley, which teems with zebra, giraffes and other wildlife.

Correspondents say the case has touched on deep sensibilities in Kenya, where white people took vast swathes of the best agricultural land during British colonial rule until 1963, before the new Kenyan elite did exactly the same.

Acknowledging the tensions, Justice Apondi said: "This court understands the undercurrents, but I believe the executive is dealing with the issues of land and other inequalities," reported Reuters news agency.

He said the process had humbled the accused, so he wanted to deliver a light sentence, which is to start immediately, to let him reflect on his life.

After the sentence was read out, people started protesting in court and waving placards, one of which read: "The Butcher of Naivasha."

In 2005 Cholmondeley admitted shooting a Maasai ranger, but the case was dropped owing to insufficient evidence.

That decision provoked outrage and mass protests among the Maasai community.

The hedonistic lifestyle of the original Lord Delamere and other wealthy white settlers from central Kenya's "Happy Valley" set inspired a book and the 1987 film White Mischief.

Reading this article, one could be excused for thinking that we still live in the era of slavery when a black man's life was worth nothing! This, so called aristocrat, thinks that the black people of Kenya are fair game like any other animal species in the dark continent. And we then condemn Zimbabwe and its president for turning against the white farmers in that country! Is it any wonder?!

Polish priest publishes sex guide

A Polish Catholic priest has published a book which provides married couples with a theological and practical guide to spicing up their sex lives.

In his book, Sex as you don't know it: for married couples who love God, Father Ksawery Knotz aims to sweep away the strait-laced attitudes many hold.

Sex in marriage, the Franciscan friar explains, should not be boring but "saucy, surprising and fantasy packed".

The book, which has the backing of the Polish Catholic Church, has been a hit.

The Sw. Pawel publishing house has ordered a reprint after Poles snapped up the first 5,000 copies within weeks of them going on sale.

'Sought-after caresses'

In the book that has been dubbed the "Catholic Kama Sutra", Father Knotz goes into graphic detail about a subject many in the Church consider taboo.

"Some people, when they hear about the holiness of married sex, immediately imagine that such sex has to be deprived of joy, frivolous play, fantasy and attractive positions," he writes.

"[They think] it has to be sad like a traditional church hymn.

"Every act - a type of caress, a sexual position - with the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God. During sexual intercourse, married couples can show their love in every way, can offer one another the most sought-after caresses."

Father Knotz believes sex is an important way for a husband and wife to express their love and grow closer to God.

"Married couples celebrate their sacrament, their life with Christ also during sex," he writes.

"Calling sex a celebration of the marriage sacrament raises its dignity in an exceptional way. Such a statement shocks people who learned to look at sexuality in a bad way. It is difficult for them to understand that God is also interested in their happy sex life and in this way gives them his gift."

But Father Knotz stresses the book does not differ from the Church's view on sex. He discourages the use of contraceptives, saying they "lead a married couple outside of Catholic culture and into a completely different lifestyle".

He also dismisses those that have questioned the competency of a celibate monk to write about sex, saying his experience comes from counselling married couples and from running a website giving sexual advice for almost a year.

What? The Catholic Kama Sutra? Is the holy church now going to advocate the original sin? What next? Is the church going to play the devil's advocate for all sinners?

Airline Going To The Dogs ... And Cats, Too

May 12, 2009 Think your Fido or Boots deserves more respect when traveling? So do the founders of Pet Airways, who are launching their pets-only airline in July.

All animals that fly will be called "pawsengers" and have a pet attendant to ease their travel, says airline co-founder Alysa Binder.

Pet Airways will start out in five cities — Los Angeles, New York, Washington, Chicago and Denver. The animals will fly on Beechcraft planes, constructed for 19 human passengers, Binder tells Renee Montagne. All the people comforts have been torn out and reconfigured with pet carriers. There are sections for cats and dogs, but there's no first class.

When asked how she plans to manage in this economy, Binder says, "Folks are still going on vacation and would like to take their pets — maybe they're going to Grandma's house."

And, she notes, "In this economy, there's a lot of pet parents that are being relocated … so they need to take their pet."

Fares start at $149 each way — water and food included.

What I want to know is why no first class? What about the celebrity pets? They don't expect them to fly with the hoi poloi do they? And what about my pet crocodile? Will they accept it too or will they discriminate?

So many questions to answer!

Hugo Chavez launches mobile phone with rude name

Last Updated: 1:19PM BST 12 May 2009 The Venezuelan president, Hugo Chavez, has launched the Vergatorio, one of the world's cheapest mobile phones and probably the only one with a rude name. Costing $15 (about £10), and rivalled for price only by the very cheapest phones on sale in Asia, the Vergatorio's name has its origins in a venezuelan slang term for penis.

Mr Chavez, who nationalised the company that has produced the phone, unveiled the product, only to be condemned for the choice of name.

He has described the Vergatorio, which has all the features of a more expensive phone such as WAP and an MP3 player, as "light, beautiful, good and cheap".

"It is science and technology at the service of the people not the elites ... the day will arrive when we manufacture phones for Cuba and Latin America," he said.

"This telephone will be the biggest seller not only in Venezuela but the world. Whoever doesn't have a Vergatario is nothing."

He even telephoned his mother during the launch ceremony.

But critics have described the choice of name given to the phone as vulgar and in bad taste.

I am sure that all perverts and heavy breathers will welcome Venezuela's piece of technological junk as their ideal means of mobile communication. After all, the name alone will be enough to get them all worked up!

McPhDs on McDonald's UK menu

Posted Mon May 11, 2009 12:37pm AEST Updated Mon May 11, 2009 12:58pm AEST

US fast-food giant McDonald's is hoping to offer PhDs after receiving approval to award its own nationally recognised qualifications in Britain, the company's "chief people officer" said.

Speaking to the Financial Times, David Fairhurst said the company's new power to award qualifications made it "a university in its own right", and added that the company wanted to award qualifications equivalent to university degrees.

"One day, I'd love to see us doing a PhD - I definitely think we should go as far as we can," he said.

He cautioned, however, that the company wanted to perfect its current training regimen, which includes courses in shift management that are equivalent in level to A-levels or high school courses, before putting together a post-graduate qualification.

McDonald's was one of nine employers or employer groups last year that received the power to award qualifications, which Britain wants to encourage so that more workers will have recognised certificates to increase their employability.

The company has long sought to challenge the perception that it only creates low-level, poorly-paid "McJobs".

In the not so distant future we will be blessed with a world wide McDonald's university for the preparation of scientifically created Big Macs. Let's hope that those with McPhD's will also research the reduction of fat content in fast foods in order to reduce the cholesterol levels in young and old Mac addicts.

What's in a name

Kate Connolly in Berlin May 7, 2009 GERMANY'S highest court has ruled that a Munich dentist could not call herself Frieda Rosemarie Thalheim-Kunz-Hallstein.

Ms Thalheim wanted to combine her own name with her husband's double-barrelled name to create a triple-barrelled moniker and argued that failure to allow her to do so infringed her personal rights.

But the Constitutional Court ruled 5-3 against, referring to a 1993 law passed to curb a trend in "name chains". The court said a triple-barrelled name "lessened the impact of a name to do what it was supposed to do, namely to identify".

The couple's lawyer, Ruediger Zuck, said his clients had no comment on the ruling, but added, with what sounded like a note of resignation, "The Germans are old-fashioned."

Germany takes a highly regimented approach to naming. Children's names must be approved by local authorities and there is a reference work, the International Handbook of Forenames, to guide them.

The head of the centre at Leipzig University that provides certificates of approval for names that have not yet made the official list, Professor Juergen Udolph, said: "The state has a responsibility to protect people from idiotic forenames."

That responsibility is often tested in court. In 2003, a court ruled that a boy could not be named "Anderson" because it was a surname in Germany.

And the Constitutional Court ruled in 2004 to limit the number of forenames a child could have, capping at five the number a mother could give her son - to whom she had attempted to bequeath the 12-part "Chenekwahow Tecumseh Migiskau Kioma Ernesto Inti Prithibi Pathar Chajara Majim Henriko Alessandro" - to protect the child.

Germany's Economics Minister found professional success despite bearing the name Karl-Theodor Maria Nikolaus Johann Jacob Philipp Franz Joseph Sylvester Freiherr von und zu Guttenberg. However, when he was appointed, a practical joker sneaked the name "Wilhelm" into his Wikipedia entry, an error which spread to numerous media reports, including on the front page of the country's largest newspaper.

I cannot see where the problem is with Frieda Rosemarie Thalheim-Kunz-Hallstein. After all it is a strong German name of rather short proportions when you consider that the Guinness World Record for Longest Name in the world belongs to a Mr. Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffwelchevoralternwarengewissenschaftschafeswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifeudurchihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenerscheinenvanderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternaitigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortpflanzenundsicherfeuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnicheinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischenternart Zeus igraum Senior, who was born in Munich in 1904 and lived in Philadelphia for most of his life. Apparently he shortened his name to Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, and subsequently went by Hubert Blaine Wolfe, but the "Senior" indicates that he passed some form of his name to his son. The most amazing thing about this name is the translation of the content after "Wolfe Schlegel Steinhausen-Bergedorf," ("wolf" "mallet" "Steinhausen (a common placename)" and "Bergedorf (a borough of Hamburg)") which translates to "...who before ages were conscientious shepherds whose sheep were well tended and diligently protected against attackers who by their rapacity were enemies who 12,000 years ago appeared from the stars to the humans by spaceships with light as an origin of power, started a long voyage within starlike space in search for the star which has habitable planets orbiting and whither the new race of reasonable humanity could thrive and enjoy lifelong happiness and tranquility without fear of attack from other intelligent creatures from within starlike space. On printed forms he uses only his eighth and second Christian names and the first 35 letters of his surname. The full version of the name of 590 letters appeared in the 12th edition of The Guinness Book of Records. He now lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, U.S.A., and has shortened his surname to Mr. Wolfe + 585, Senior.

Greek man comes home...to find it stolen

May 7, 2009 ATHENS - Police in Greece say robbers near Athens have got away with everything including the kitchen sink, lifting a prefabricated home off its foundation and spiriting it away. Police say the owner went to visit his 70-square meter vacation home on Monday in the coastal area of Rafina, 25 kilometres east of Athens, and discovered it was missing, along with its contents. Police said on Wednesday they think the thieves used a crane to load the structure onto a trailer. They have been unable to locate the missing building. Thousands of Athenians, including Greece's prime minister, Caskets Karamanlis, have vacation properties in Rafina. Well. at least the police should be thankfull that the thieves left the suburb in place, otherwise the Greek pime minister would be looking for another Greek spot for his vacations.

Economic Indicators: Clowns Want To Get Paid Too!

by Caitlin Kenney, May 8, 2009 Whatever numbers the marketplace and government reports have been cranking out, Mandy Dalton found one economic indicator that matters to her recently in a newspaper story about the bankruptcy of General Growth Properties. The paper reported that General Growth, the second-largest mall owner in the country, had filed for bankruptcy. It owed billions of dollars to banks, and $200 to her. Dalton's not a bank. She's a clown, a professional clown. "I make kids laugh, I fall on my butt for a living," she says. "It's great." Dalton performed at a family fun day at a General Growth mall near Baltimore. Now, if she wants to get paid, she'll have to stand in line with all the other people who say General Growth owes them money. She has to decide whether it's worth her time to travel to New York City for the creditors' meeting, "where other people are going to be there for, if not millions, certainly in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, looking for payment. And I'm supposed to go to the judge and say I want my $200?" For Dalton, that uncollected pay amounts to the cost of a single pair of clown shoes, Clown-so-port's Funky style. Then there are her other expenses, like liability insurance. What if she's juggling a ball, she says, and it ends up hitting someone in the head? The poor clown doesn't stand a chance to get her money, considering that all these other clowns (read CEO's) have already had their bonusses paid by General Growth, the kitty must be empty!

Australia to shoot 6,000 kangaroos

ROD McGUIRK Associated Press Writer CANBERRA, Australia (AP) Australia's army has started shooting 6,000 kangaroos to thin their population on an army training ground near the capital, an official said Friday, outraging conservationists who have vowed to protest. The killings are intended to protect endangered plants and insects that share the grassy habitat with the kangaroos. A much smaller slaughter of 400 kangaroos on another Defense Department site in Canberra last year was disrupted by protesters. Civilian marksmen contracted by the department began shooting the kangaroos on Tuesday night at Defense's Majura Training Area, where an estimated 9,000 of the wild marsupials roam, Army Brig. Brian Dawson told reporters. "The culling is intended to reduce the kangaroo population to sustainable levels," Dawson said, describing the action as that of a "responsible landowner." The nighttime shooting is expected to continue intermittently until August. The training ground covers more than 7,400 acres (3,000 hectares) and includes grenade and artillery firing ranges. Bernard Brennan, president of Canberra's Animal Liberation conservation group, said protesters planned to descend on the area starting Friday night and many more would flock from around Australia next week. He could not predict how many. "We're not going to sit back and let it happen," he said. The kangaroo slaughter follows a recent government environmental report that the common eastern gray kangaroos are too numerous in Canberra's parkland and grassland, eating scarce native grass which is the habitat of endangered insects such as golden gun moths and perunga grasshoppers. The kangaroo overpopulation is also threatening endangered reptiles, the grassland earless dragon and the striped legless lizard, the report said. Kangaroos are slaughtered to control population throughout Australia, but government agencies have been reluctant to kill the beloved national symbol around Canberra in the past 20 years because of public outcry. Australia must be the only country in the world that is trying to eradicate it's national symbol. Kill the kangaroos and save the grasshoppers! I bet the farmers around Canberra will be ecstatic at having all the grasshoppers on their paddocks. Mind you the Australian army musn't have much faith in it's own marksmen as they had to contract civilian marksmen to do the dirty deed.

Chris Butta challenges Medicare over his $40,000 medical bill

BRADBURY man Chris Butta’s elation and pride at losing 85kg has been soured by a potential $40,000 bill for body lift surgery to remove excess skin. After years of obesity, at his heaviest topping 160kg and coupled with lows of depression, the 20-year-old was snapped into action when he started having suicidal thoughts. Over a 12-month period, he underwent a transformation, losing half of his body weight. But Mr Butta’s rollercoaster ride is continuing, when he discovered the surgery to remove the vast folds of skin caused by his weight loss does not qualify for a Medicare rebate. He said he had to have 20cm of loose skin cut from his abdomen in an operation he says could take up to seven hours. That operation will take place on June 6. He will undergo another procedure at least three months later to have a male breast lift and reconstruction. A letter to Federal Health Minister Nicola Roxon provided little comfort. In fact Mr Butta says he will continue pressuring the government to reconsider its stand on such surgery. A letter to Mr Butta on behalf of the minister from Population Health Division assistant secretary Cath Peachey said Medicare was for “clinically relevant professional services”. She wrote obesity was a “complex” problem and needed a community-wide approach. “Even though I’ve lost the weight I still feel like I’m in a fat body. Nothing has changed and there’s no way I can live with that,” Mr Butta said. “It’s not about vanity; I just want to feel normal.” In another blow, his private health insurer says if the procedure does not have a Medicare item number then it is not liable to subsidise the surgery. The young man is close to raising the $40,000 but is upset his surgery is viewed as cosmetic. He challenges the federal Health Department to review its interpretation of body lift surgery, particularly in light of the Australian obesity epidemic. A spokesman for Ms Roxon said she was unable to make a comment by the Chronicle’s deadline. Obessity, it costs a fortune to pile it up and it costs a fortune to get rid of it. Eat, drink and be merry! HA!

Cash-strapped NSW slaps a tax on rain

THE cash-strapped State Government is so desperate it has begun taxing rain. It has been accused of stooping to new lows by slugging rural property owners with a new charge for rainwater that gathers in their dams. Darren Smith owns a large tract of land at Peats Ridge presently leased out as a chicken farm. When Mr Smith received his dam licence renewal, he was shocked to receive an extra water usage bill for $60. This was on top of his licence renewal fee. It was a new charge by the Department of Water and Energy for “unregulated river system management costs”. “How can they tax me for water that falls from the sky?” Mr Smith asked. “There’s no meter. It’s an unfair tax - it’s outrageous.” Mr Smith said there were no government “management costs” on his dam. It was entirely funded by him, including the water pump attached to it. Mr Smith took his concerns to Terrigal State Liberal MP Chris Hartcher who agreed. “Will backyard rainwater tanks be next?” Mr Hartcher said. “It goes against the entire policy of encouraging people to source their own water. “Now the government has found a way to use it as a tax. It’s furtive and no one knows about it.” “It’s a small amount where the natural instinct might be just to pay it. The fee could be $60 or $60,000, it’s still an unfair tax on rural dams.” Where did the tax on rain come from? Who asked for it and why? The Express Advocate has been trying to find out for two weeks. We began with questions to the man in charge, Water and Energy Minister Phil Costa. His media adviser was sure the “new tax” was not a “new tax” and probably applied to the bores on the property but promised to make inquiries. A media spokesman from the Department of Water and Energy later said an answer would be “forthcoming”. None was. The Express Advocate made more inquiries last week and an initial response was that it was new fee imposed for dams. It all came under the Independent Pricing and Regulatory Tribunal’s (IPART’s) new water sharing regulations that came into effect in 2007. People were just only now getting their bills. But who asked IPART to set a fee on dams and on what grounds? What the government says on rain tax

A Department of Water and Energy spokeswoman said the bill was a fixed charge for water management applied to landholders who have an irrigation licence. She said the Independent Pricing and Regulatory Tribunal (IPART) set fixed water fees to recover the water user’s share of bulk water costs, which included maintaining the supply structures and managing the State’s water resources.

“The charges are generally comprised of a fixed component, based on the licensed entitlement which does not vary with usage, and a variable component based on actual amount of water used,” she said.

She said in Mr Smith’s case, the invoice covered only the fixed component. Many licence holders are now paying fixed water charges for the first time as they are now part of a water sharing plan which came into effect on July 1, 2007.

It has often been said that sooner or latter, governments will tax the air we breath. The time for such a tax is approaching fast as governments mismanage the economy and squander thousands of dollars on lurks and perks for politicians and their cronies.

No butts: Officials to smoke or be fined

Posted Mon May 4, 2009 6:21pm AEST

Officials in a county in central China have been told to smoke nearly a quarter of a million packs of locally made cigarettes annually or risk being fined, state media reports.

The Gong'an county government in Hubei province has ordered its staff to puff their way through 230,000 packs of Hubei-produced cigarette brands a year, the Global Times said.

Departments that fail to meet their targets will be fined, the report said.

"The regulation will boost the local economy via the cigarette tax," said Chen Nianzu, a member of the Gong'an cigarette market supervision team, according to the paper.

The measure could also be a ploy to aid local cigarette brands such as Huanghelou, which are under severe pressure from competitors in neighbouring Hunan province, according to the paper.

China has 350 million smokers, of whom a million die of smoking-related diseases every year.

More than half of all male doctors in China smoke, but the Government is now trying harder to get them to kick the habit in order to set an example for others.

That's a poke in the eye for the anti-smoking lobbies. Now they will start screaming about the lack of human rights in China. But the Chinese will say that they are trying to boost their economy in a time of crisis.

Burglar stuck on roof - Help me please!

May 03, 2009 12:00am

A HAPLESS would-be burglar has been been charged after he became stuck on a Sydney factory roof and had to be rescued by police and fire crews in a three-hour operation.

Police were called to a three-storey factory in Leichhardt, in Sydney's inner-west, about 1.50am (AEST) on Sunday to find the 53-year-old on the roof.

Officers believe the man was trying to break into the joinery factory on Moore Street, but wet weather and the steep roof caused him to get stuck.

Numerous rescue attempts were made, with emergency crews eventually using a fire truck with a large ladder and a Polair helicopter to illuminate the rooftop to retrieve him at 4.50am.

He had numerous items on him, including a helmet with a light, bolt cutters, tin snips, a small ladder, backpack, tarpaulin, ropes and harnesses.

A Camperdown man has been charged with trespassing, possession of housebreaking implements, and attempted break-and-enter.

He has been refused bail and is expected to appear via video-link in Parramatta Local Court late on Sunday.

The moral of this story is that if you can't stand the height, do not climb on the roof. One thing is for sure, this guy will not try to escape from prison by scaling the roof tops of the jail house!

Robot attacked Swedish factory worker

Published: 28 Apr 09 10:12 CET A Swedish company has been fined 25,000 kronor ($3,000) after a malfunctioning robot attacked and almost killed one of its workers at a factory north of Stockholm. Public prosecutor Leif Johansson mulled pressing charges against the firm but eventually opted to settle for a fine. "I've never heard of a robot attacking somebody like this," he told news agency TT. The incident took place in June 2007 at a factory in Bålsta, north of Stockholm, when the industrial worker was trying to carry out maintenance on a defective machine generally used to lift heavy rocks. Thinking he had cut off the power supply, the man approached the robot with no sense of trepidation. But the robot suddenly came to life and grabbed a tight hold of the victim's head. The man succeeded in defending himself but not before suffering serious injuries. "The man was very lucky. He broke four ribs and came close to losing his life," said Leif Johansson. The matter was subject to an investigation by both the Swedish Work Environment Authority (Arbetsmiljöverket) and the police. Prosecutor Johansson chastised the company for its inadequate safety procedures but he also placed part of the blame on the injured worker. Is this a case of Terminator X? Just imagine if all the robots in all the factories of the world suddenly conspired against the human race! ARMAGEDON!!

Swiss canton bans nude hiking

The small Swiss canton of Appenzell Innerrhoden will no longer welcome nude hikers to their meadows and valleys. The region has seen a rise in the number of hikers in the buff and local sensitivities were offended.

Visitors to Appenzell who chose to pursue a hike through the Alps without wearing a stitch could now face a fine of 200 Swiss francs (132 euros).

Residents in the Alpine region approved the measure banning nude hiking on Sunday under the traditional "Landsgemeide" voting system.

The Landsgemeide system has the the citizens of Appenzell meeting once a year on the last Sunday in April to vote, by raising their hands, on local issues.

Voting was an exclusive right of men until 1990 when women were allowed to participate.

At this year's meeting, between 3,000 and 4,000 voters showed up. On the matter of the nude hiking ban, there were hardly any dissenting votes regarding prohibiting what the local police department called "immoral habits."

Unwelcome attention

Last fall citizens began noticing an influx of visitors to the region who shed their clothes before enjoying a hike through the region. It was trend the locals frowned upon and threatened to establish a reputation Appenzell didn't want.

"It's ridiculous that Appenzell is getting an international reputation for such a despicable habit," said Peter Schmid in an interview with the Reuters news agency.

But supporters of nude hiking say roaming in nature in one's birthday suit provides a liberating feeling that's hard to beat.

Switzerland isn't the only country where people are known to experience nature without the hindrance of clothing. It's seen in Germany and France, for example, but doesn't meet as much hostility.

"Switzerland is a lot more conservative and very traditional," Edith Zweifel of the Swiss tourism board told Reuters.

Now I say, why would anyone in their right mind want to hike through the Swiss Alps in the buff, especially if the temperature is somewhere around the minus twenty degrees Celsius!!